Fresh Local Lunacy Direct From the Funny Farm. Personally I blame the great Dr. Seuss.
Naughty Fox in white mits and socks,
Trotted among the ragged rocks.
Naughty fox in socks spies a plump chicken,
Pickin’ at some grittin’.
He licks his chops,
And spits on his mits
Rubs them together
And dreams of devouring tasty chicken bits.
Plucky chucky pecking at some grittin’s,
Spies slinking naughty fox in mittens
So Plucky Chucky preps the coop
And opens the emergency escape chute.
She readies the leccy’ fence
And shoos away all her flocks.
Crawling ‘neath the wire
Naughty fox in socks gets nasty shocks!
Naughty fox lay sprawled out on the grass
Waiting for the electrical current to pass.
Eventually he came too with a nasty joltage
His fur all fuzzy on account of the voltage.
But before he could gather his wits
And flee from this accursed farm
Heavy boot falls stomp closer
And he is snatched up by his mittened arm.
Naughty fox in mits and socks gets got,
Furious farmer locks him in the farm yard stocks.
Given no breads, no waters, no meats
His head hung low staring down at his feets.
Shamed in front of the community
He is pelted profusely with mouldy old crops.
Until a government official happened by
And declared he’s pulling out all of the stops.
He argued that Fox be treated more humanely:
Given his own private cell and three square meals daily.
Access to a Gamepalm console and a huge plasma screen TV.
A job peeling spuds and doing the other inmates laundry.
Poor farmer was aghast and said to plucky chuck with a curse
I’ve been charged with cruelty to animals, I’m to be evicted or worse
I’ve nothing in the larder and there’s no more grittin’ for thee
So tonight’s dinner will have to consist of plucked Plucky Chickadee.